New Poems... NSFW

I uploaded these both to DA, but I figured I'd put him here, too, since I haven't done an update in a while. xD Gives all the people who don't read this something to...read...

;3

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  • Current Music
    Origin of Love, by Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Le Sigh...

I love Master, but I don't know how long I can keep doing this. I don't know how long I can keep on going without at least hearing him say hello to me.

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  • Current Music
    The Bridge, by Elton John

Ai Yori Aoshi

I was almost going to pass it up. The synopsis I read on the website sounded stupid. I guess that's just what you get when dumb people try to write things. xD

But I'm SO glad I actually went back to read it. OMG I love that manga. xD It's right up there with my all time faves: Mars, Card Capter Sakura: Master of the Clow, Immortal Rain and Wish.

lol I have such random tastes.

DnD Attrition

So, lately I've been thinking about Dungeons and Dragons. The strangest thing occurred to me - I don't play nearly as much as I used to. It feels like I've grown tired of my usual gaming circles. I still have fun, when I do play, but I only real play in two regular games now - and that's probably only because they're long-standing and established.

But I can't help but feel like I need a change of faces. I need new people to play with, otherwise I'll slowly keep losing my interest until I no longer want to play. I've felt this way for quite a while, but it's never been as much of an issue before. But things are getting repetitive. I go to the same games, on the same days, and I don't feel any real excitement anymore. I still have fun, but I don't feel that same sense of wonder that I used to when I used to meet new people, all the time, through the game.

Bah. I don't know. I'm rambling.
  • Current Music
    Isfahan, by E.S. Posthumus

Looking for players for a new DnD 3.5 game.

EDIT: Lolololol

Forgot to mention, it'll be in Findlay, Ohio.

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Probably gonna' cross-post this to Facebook, as well. I'm looking to get a new group of players for a game of Dungeons and Dragons. Below are the general statistics.

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The following is the basic concept of the campaign. Remember that this is but a general outline - it is not the full list of details. It is, however, enough to grant players enough information to properly influence character creation.

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Players who provide me with various "fluff pieces" will begin the campaign with additional experience points. The components that are eligible for starting XP are listed below by the amount of XP they are worth. These items are mostly cumulative.

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If I can get the players, I'm hoping to have the first session planned for the first Wednesday of January - that would be January sixth, 2010.
  • Current Location
    Home

Meeeeeeeeeh.

As posted on DA.

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I must have the worst luck in the world. Today is such a horrible day. I thought I'd go to sleep early, and not wake up until tomorrow. Such was not to be. I thought, at least, sleeping might help make up for the shittyness that was earlier today. Nope. Things only got worse.

Now it feels like someone I'd like to consider a good friend hates me. It seems like she's constantly avoiding me and ignoring me, and when I finally got a hold of her she was so...cold. I don't know any other way to put it.

Am I just a bad friend? Did I do something to deserve this? I wish I knew what I did, so that I could try to fix it. >.<

EDIT
----
Oh, wow.

You told me that you wanted me to leave you alone, because you were to busy to talk since you were doing school stuff. But you have the time to do a facebook meme?

Ouch. Damn, that stings. TT-TT
  • Current Music
    Noooooone.

Feel Like Crawling into a Hole...

There's a girl I know. Years ago, I fell in love with her. Hard. We used to talk all the time, but we never officially dated. She didn't want to get involved in a long-distance relationship. But she was so...I don't know how to put it. She was everything I wanted in a woman, at the time. Fiercely independent, she knew exactly what she wanted... I let myself become sexual with her. And things were good, for a while. But then my life was starting to overwhelm me, and I did something stupid. I loosened my bond with her, and put her on the back-burner in my mind so that I could focus on other things.

Just today...I saw a journal she had posted on Deviant Art, where she stated that her father had hit her. And I felt so...hollow. Like someone had carved out my core. What hit me worst is that... I wasn't there. I told her that I loved her, and that I would always be there to listen to her problems. But I...I made a choice, even if it was a subconscious one...and I chose to fucking IGNORE her.

But all in all, I guess this was an educational experience. I always knew that I'm a horrible person... But I never knew just how deep that aberration went. Because, the kicker? I was more upset when I found out that she already had a boyfriend. What the Hell is that, huh? How do I even get OFF feeling hurt about that? I had no right to expect that she would put her life on hold for me.

I guess she was right not to want to get involved in something long distance. I can't even imagine how much worse it would have been for her if I had been her boyfriend and then ignored her through all of that.

I feel so selfish... I can't stop wondering if this is something I deserved. I have a rule. Never be sexually intimate, on-line or offline, with anyone I'm not dating. I've only broken that rule with two people. Her, and one other. But to have this happen, after I told myself I'd never break that rule...

Is this what I had in store for me?
  • Current Mood
    exhausted exhausted